xanthan gum

I love the rhyme structure, but it seems as if you were forcing the rhymes. Please don't - it just butchers the beauty that you have here. By the way, ...

This was good idea and a good poem, but I think you could expand on it. Because it was so short, it didn't have justifiable room to make it's own ...

Change the line breaks up a bit, then we'll talk =]

Please don't sacrifice the other more valuable aspects of a poem to something like rhyme and meter. It makes the poem appear elementary, and I know you are above that. ...

It seems as though we have a new poet on the street. =] Everything you said had meaning, force, and was graceful - never too strong, never too superflous or ...

I think the rhythm in this was pretty prominent, and so it was awkward when something was off-rhythm...a short line, a long line, ect. I think you should crop down ...

This was far too repetitive. You could've had summed all this up in one line - basically it was the same thing over and over again with various but not ...

getting more aggresive getting more violent. getting...? it sounds so harsh aganist the beautiful pulse you were trying to create. otherwise, i thought this was great.

I think this needs a stronger beginning, as it's a bit airy. I understand the feeling, and you get it by the end but you linger in description so long ...

I agree with Snoink that that line didn't exactly...flow as much of the rest of the poem did. I wouldn't be so picky if it weren't for the fact that ...

I think you should consider a more free verse type of poem. Your rhyming patterns are odd, the rhythm is extremely off...and you need to incorporate some more images or ...

she bought a translation book at barnes and noble, i think..and some self-teaching CD. that's all i can say to help you. sorry.

the world in your sight is not but glorious peace. these lines are awkward, and I think that's because of the strict rules on the syllables in haikus and the ...

This was a good poem - it certainly had a touching meaning. I'm only slightly disappointed because it doesn't have the beautiful imagery from all your other poems. But beggars ...